I was named after my grandmother, a woman who, in a lot of ways, I aspire to become like. I have not done that much, but in my seeming activity-less life, I have managed to change quite a bit. Everyone calls me Ellie or Ellie Shea; however, I am becoming increasingly uncomfortable with that those names because I feel like I’m only sort-of that person still. I have always been fascinated with names changing – Peter, Paul, Mark Twain, Cher, Lady Gaga; I wonder how much a name can really change who you are or how you act. I think that it does. If it didn’t, then strippers wouldn’t call themselves Candy, right? While I’m not ready to give up the “Ellie” part of myself yet, I am exploring other name options. The most obvious choice is what is on my birth certificate – Elia. So, maybe that is what this is about; or maybe it is just a bold expression of narcissism. Whatever it is, I’m pretty sure that it counts as therapy.


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